I Hate Commuters…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on December 2, 2010 by Pat DiCaprio

It is only 8:30 AM and already the day is a disaster. Why? Because when you live in a major metropolitan area you have to commute. And commuting is as close to being cattle as humans get.

Firstly, virtually everyone on the train is in a war of all against all. It is a fight for every seat. People cut you off, push pregnant ladies and essentially do whatever they need to gain an advantage in procuring a valuable seat.

It is almost as if it is a metaphor for what they are going to do in their job; lie, cheat, steal and do whatever is needed to make a buck. Continue reading

Our Favorite (Sad and Misanthropic) Blues Albums

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2010 by Pat DiCaprio

Is it surprising that a guy who calls himself a Misanthrope would love the Blues?

There is simply no richer, more meaningful music out there. The Blues not only gave birth to virtually every type of modern music, it gave us the most gifted musicians that ever lived. No genre of music has ever captured the despair and pain of human self-consciousness and it is depressing to think that most people are not even aware of the Blues and its place in the firmament of music history.

Do a Google search of the saddest songs and you will find a laughable plethora of so-called sad songs that exhibit very little actual, first-hand knowledge of the subjects on which the songs are based. Truly pathetic; no, people Nickelback, Mariah Carey, Ashlee Simpson (!) and Celine Dion may very well be “sad” but not in the way you think (and all of these came from lists I saw).

Not so with the Blues. The Blues came from slaves and sharecroppers, and those whose general experience was with a segregated, hateful society that killed, maimed, murdered and jailed people based purely on the color of their skin. And the songs reflect every bit of that pain, humiliation, desolateness and loneliness. Continue reading

Waging War Against Life’s Daily Battles

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2010 by Pat DiCaprio

Some times you just get the shit beaten out of you.

Every day, every hour, no matter what you do, no matter your outlook, no matter whether you believe in God. No matter how hard you fight, claw or pray. None of it matters. No one is immune from the vagaries of this cesspool of corruption, pain and misery in which we live.

I see misery and unhappiness everywhere; train stations, work, people walking down the street. All struggling, clawing for whatever little scraps this world is willing to bestow on them, as if it is imparting a gift of a few moments of relief from the world. You see it too, but perhaps you choose not to recognize it; to give it the full faith and recognition it warrants.

Home life? Work? Travelling or commuting? Dealing with the constant battles of life? They beat us up. Everyday. No matter who you deal with, life is a constant battle for scraps: money, time, happiness, relief, the upper hand, the moral high ground, the passive aggression that many are so fond of. We fight over little green pieces of paper, crush our fellow man in favor of a dollar, or a promotion. Continue reading


Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 18, 2010 by Pat DiCaprio

…….said the headline at Fark.com, and of course my curiosity was piqued. The article was a harbinger of doom in an all-out war for the future of female pulchritude, and no less than Armageddon may need to be declared. The good guys are losing.

Christina Hendricks is apparently going on a diet. Continue reading

The Misanthrope’s Fashion Rules For Commuters

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 1, 2010 by Pat DiCaprio

Are you interested to see just how far other humans can sink and to what depths they can plumb? Curious about how much disdain for others one person can have? You needn’t read the news, just try to commute in New York City.

Commuting in NYC is as close to a Thomas-Hobbes-like war of all against all as exists in most of our everyday lives. It is quite literally every man and woman for himself or herself. If you truly want to know the soul of a person just see how they act when getting on or off a train. Are you pregnant? Using a cane? Carrying a baby? No matter; you will get run over, as my wife can attest (and many others of you I am sure).

That said, commuting itself is not the topic du jour at least not today. We can save that for another day. Today we are going to give you the Misanthrope’s Fashion Rules for Commuters.

People want to be animals. We really don’t want to be civilized; we have to because the world makes it so, but given our druthers I think Hobbes was right; we really would be a bunch of animals fighting wars. Or perhaps I should say he is right. We really, truly, as a species, do not care for our fellow man. Or at least we will always act as selfishly as possible without going to jail, and commuting is proof of this thesis.

How do I know this? When you see the following you will really know that some/most of us simply do not care about our fellow man. Otherwise we would not go out of our way to disgust others as some of these poor saps do on a daily basis:

  1. If you have no toenails, please do not wear open-toed shoes. Yes the other day I was treated to the wonderful sight of an otherwise fine looking woman who had no toenails on her big toes. Her big toe was a gnarled mass of disgusting skin. Thankfully she felt the need to share this with the rest of us commuters. This is doubly true for you gross fat guys that insist on wearing sandals on the train. Now we not only get to see your gnarly toes with no nails, we get to see your flabby, hairy legs as well. Boy, what a treat.
  2. In a similar vein- if you have open sores or scrapes that need bandages, please see rule number one.– Today my fellow commuters and I were welcomed onto a train by a woman with bandages on her foot that did not quite cover up the foul-looking injury of some kind that was lurking beneath. Ugh. If you need a band-aid or a bandage on any part of your body just cover it up, will you?
  3. If you are over 60, please do not dress like a teenager– This may seem common-sensical, but not to the lady I see most days on the train going east. This fine lady deems it just fine to wear miniskirts and high heels, despite the fact that she is clearly over 60 and very wrinkly, and I am not speaking hyperbolically or for effect. She falls more in the “pathetic” side of the ledger rather than the “disgusting” side, but is misanthropy-worthy nonetheless.
  4. Men who use golf umbrellas while commuting in the rain are assholes – There are few more overt ways to tell the world “Fuck You” than using a golf umbrella on a crowded street. For those who do not know what a golf umbrella is, it is an extra-large umbrella that is meant to be able to cover a golfer who is hitting a ball in the rain and for the very curious just look for pics of Tiger Woods. These abominations are very large. But the so-called man who uses on in the street is so egotistical that he tries to create a huge zone of personal space on a crowded sidewalk, and anyone who breaches his personal space will get poked in the eye by his extra large umbrella.
  5. These men sicken me most of all. Unlike the other people above, these guys are simply holding out a middle finger to everyone else, and do so consciously. So what if a little old lady or some poor girl gets poked in the eye, or has to jump into oncoming traffic? As long as Mr. Stuffy White Guy doesn’t get his poor self a little wet, who cares?

    And this moron is almost always the kind of person we hate most here on this blog- the guy who thinks that we are all oh-so-impressed that you play golf at Pebble Beach and that you wear an expensive watch or suit just to tell the world how far above the rest of us cretins you are.

    5. Last but not least is the guy who has the big backpack. I know I am not the first to say this but there really should be a rule that you cannot wear a backpack on a train. Yet again we have someone who thinks he has more right to space on the train than the rest of us. You know who you are. You are going to work, you are not hiking the Appalachian Trail, so cut the bullshit, leave the backpack at home and carry a bag that can go on the floor where it doesn’t keep hitting everyone else in the face when the train bounces.

Of course, we have barely scratched the surface of the People We All Should Hate While Commuting. But we can only do so much in one post. If you are a commuter and think I missed one of your least favorites, leave a comment below.

The Job Talker

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 8, 2010 by Pat DiCaprio

This weekend I had the pleasure of taking the family to a local water park and to the NY Renaissance Faire (don’t knock it until you have tried it). In both places we were confronted by that most annoying of human waste, the Job Talker. Yes, even on line in their bathing suits with their big white beer-bellies covering their waistbands they still have the temerity to talk loudly about just how important they are, regaling total strangers with their Awards For Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. Continue reading

Bad parenting causes kids to be diagnosed with disorders?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2010 by Pat DiCaprio

This weekend my brother-in-law told me about the psychological diagnosis of ODD or Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Naturally I presumed he was joking but sure enough he was serious. It is when children don’t do what they are told.

One might use this diagnosis as the butt of a joke and if you do more power to you. People allow Psychiatry as a practice to invent a bullshit disorder or six in order to make themselves feel better about being unfit parents. And if there is one thing this blog is about it is destroying the myths and bullshit that we use to make ourselves feel better about being failures at the expense of others. Continue reading