Militantly Skinny Women

Are you one of these women that tries her darndest to be a size 4? Do you eschew real food for a diet that would make a rabbit jealous? Congratulations; I am sure you are healthy fit and trim. But let’s not confuse that with sexy, because you aren’t. At least not to most men. And I bet that you think you are, judging other women harshly and telling your clique of friends how hot you are, as if your mental acuity never got beyond high school. And let’s face it, it probably hasn’t.

I have a six-year-old who has already been confronted with this in her school. I live in a relatively well-to-do area where there are lots of these plastic, skinny, snotty, high-maintenance types, and I am willing to bet that their daughters are the ones trying to co-opt mine. I am sick and tired of it.

Sorry to disappoint you ladies, but it is not men you are trying to impress; you want other women to feel jealous. You know it, I know it and now the world knows it. If you are shaking your stick-like arm at your computer I suggest you look deep into your heart because you know that what I say is the truth. Not only that, many psychological studies have shown this to be true.

How are we defining “skinny?” Let’s just say that if you have a body shape reminiscent of a pre-pubescent boy, you are too skinny. If you routinely say, “Boy, that Victoria Beckham sure is fat,” you are too skinny.  We are not after a size, but a state of mind. The militant dieter, trying to keep a size 2 while working out all the time because they have either a deflated sense of self worth or want to be skinny for reasons they may not even understand- that is my target.

These women are warped. They have mental issues. They starve in order to make other women feel jealous. They ask whether Christina Hendricks and Kim Kardashian are too fat.

Of course, if it comes natural to you to be a size 6 then great; I don’t have a bone to pick with you. I know many women like this who are happy, non-judgmental and perfectly nice people. Not like the harpies that warp our notion of beauty and that make little girls feel like they need to lose weight. Models, agents, New York City women that think the “Real” Housewives are “real.” These are the women deserving of scorn.

It is not men that you are after, that is for sure. Most men do not find women that are too skinny attractive at all. Who wants to see protruding collarbones a la Marcia Cross on Desperate Housewives? Who wants to see breasts that are so small that you can them and a baseball at the same time? Who wants hips that are so flat they can be used as a carpenter’s level?, admittedly a non-scientific entity but we will get to some science in a bit, asked men what they prefer. Men overwhelmingly said they loved bigger women better, mostly because they were more comfortable and assured with themselves. This makes sense; only a masochist wants to marry or date a woman who is constantly complaining that there are too many calories in a carrot. Men rejected women that had a “lollipop” body shape in favor of curves. If you are the serial dieter trying to be a size 4, don’t you see that you are not comfortable or assured with yourself?

Not only that, men inherently understand that women who are too skinny tend to be high maintenance. And that fits in psychologically also. Men, you know of what I speak.

Historically it has always been the case, at least until the 1960’s that skinny women were considered unattractive. You see, biology is a powerful tool. We are hard-wired to prefer more rotund women. When we were still hunter-gatherers, skinny women were malnourished. So they were not desirable partners.

And yet, after thousands of years this has not changed. They are still malnourished and not desirable partners from compatibility perspective, at least not to a sane male. Only now we are dirtying the rest of female-dom with this claptrap about BMI dieting etc. Enough is enough.

You want something more than pop science? A recent study showed that an hourglass figure actually operated on the same parts of the male brain as certain drugs and alcohol. Curvy women make men drunk! Biologically we link that hourglass figure with fertility, and studies have shown that men prefer a waist-to-hips ratio of about 0.7. A few examples of these beauties? Sophia Loren, Salma Hayek, Marilyn Monroe and Jessica Alba, not to mention the Venus de Milo.

If you think that the emaciated starlets of today with their warped minds and even more warped bodies are sexier than these ladies, well there is not much I can say to dissuade you other than to say you need serious help.

Women who lord this over other women, who run the fashion industry and pervert little girls into thinking they need to be skinny, you are to blame. Women that are constantly carping about others, cattily making fun of others in order to fill that terrible crevasse in their self-esteem, roving in cliques and making like they are God’s gift to the world because they are oh-so-sexy, you are worthy of the Misanthrope’s ridicule.

Sadly, the majority of women want a size 8 waist or smaller. Men? We prefer a size 12-14. So spare me the patriarchal crap about how women are subjugated to male views of sexuality, blah blah blah. Men just want to see attractive women, we are too lazy to actually go to the trouble of forcing something we don’t want on society as a whole. Hell, we are thankful if any woman lets us see them naked. Nope, you only have your own gender to blame.

A last parting thought. Men and women were asked what celebrity they thought had the perfect body. Men chose Kate Winslet, she of the Hollywood that said she was too fat in Titanic.

These women are twisted, mental cripples that do not deserve anything more than to be ridiculed by the Misanthrope. You want to redeem yourself? Start eating like a human being and have a sandwich.

Which do you prefer? The first two are two runway models, one of which is size 18:

How about these? The first is Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr. The second is another runway model, size 16:

Here is another for you, two more runway models.

Or some celebrities:

In every case we will go with the fuller figured lady. The rub? All of the skinny women were in Maxim or’s Hot 100 or 99 most desirable women. What is wrong with this picture?

2 Responses to “Militantly Skinny Women”

  1. I have to say that while I generally agree that women’s body image issues are pernicious and generally fucked up – I do find the criticism you pooh-pooh to be largely valid. What you’re asking seems to be, in essence, to substitute the size-zero chaser’s external desire for validation from one you don’t approve of to one that is more comfortable to you. It strikes me that the devil here is the need for external validation (something for which we are hard wired) and the fucked up standards.

    When we demonize the people involved – and isn’t this the “personal responsibility” argument writ in lipstick? It always feels like an attack on a class of people rather than a legitimate criticism. Often a way to remove one’s own responsibility – either direct or social. This comes perilously close to coming off as routine misogyny dressed up in concern.

  2. Jeanette Says:

    While I fully agree that we can be too obsessed with being skinny as a culture, looking at this matter in such a one sided way is not very good for anyone involved. For example, many women/girls could never gain more weight, no matter how hard they try. Some people are built like that, and are perfectly healthy, despite the fact that their BMI may even say otherwise. And it is not irrelevant that much of America is obese. Not fuller-figured, but obese. That is an unhealthy way to live too.

    The real and underlying problem is not that we want women to be skinny, or that women want to be skinny, it is that women’s bodies are objectified in a matter that they develop an attitude that can lead to an unhealthy mental and physical state.

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