Bad parenting causes kids to be diagnosed with disorders?

This weekend my brother-in-law told me about the psychological diagnosis of ODD or Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Naturally I presumed he was joking but sure enough he was serious. It is when children don’t do what they are told.

One might use this diagnosis as the butt of a joke and if you do more power to you. People allow Psychiatry as a practice to invent a bullshit disorder or six in order to make themselves feel better about being unfit parents. And if there is one thing this blog is about it is destroying the myths and bullshit that we use to make ourselves feel better about being failures at the expense of others.

I can guarantee you that the kid diagnosed with these “disorders” simply has at least one parent that is overbearing, yells a lot, never gives praise and provides no rewards, only punishment. Or they have a bad family life in general. It is a natural reaction to be defiant in the face of overarching authority. It is the parents fault for failing to change their parenting strategy because they cannot see what needs to be done, or, worse yet, they are mental and emotional midgets that simply want to take out their frustrations on their kids as a regular course of business.

The flip side is the parent that is a milquetoast. To their kid they are simply a punching bag and their kid is defiant simply because there is no consequence to doing so. Their kid is essentially an unrestrained id and I know kids who are exactly like this and their parents are exactly as I describe. One parent I know literally never rewards her kid, only punishes, yells and screams. And yet she is dumbfounded at why he is defiant and poorly behaved at home and in school.  But it is not her fault; nope, her kid has a problem in his head and needs to be medicated. What bullshit and what a sad state of affairs.

What are the symptoms of most disorders that kids are diagnosed with? And for that matter why are boys singled out for ADHD/ADD?

Losing one’s temper
Arguing with adults
Actively defying requests
Refusing to follow rules
Deliberately annoying other people
Blaming others for one’s own mistakes or misbehavior
Being touchy, easily annoyed
Being easily angered, resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.
Speaking harshly, or unkind when upset
Seeking revenge
Having frequent temper tantrums

Forgive me, but this sounds like every kid that I know. It certainly describes me. Hell, I may still have this disorder now since I do many of these as an adult. I suspect you do also. It also describes almost every boy I knew and played with as a younger child. It is natural. But instead of parenting, and instead of taking the tough road, we, as a society, go to charlatans and give our kids medicine that even doctors do not know how or why it works, only that it does.

These are all normal behaviors done by every human being at some point or another and if we are being honest with ourselves most of us do them on a daily basis. But categorizing it and defining it has two effects: it abdicates parents from responsibility and makes money for the charlatans in psychology.

In the prior post we ranted against the parents that want to ban Happy Meals and/or their toys. McDonalds and other companies are easy boogeymen for the dim-witted human flotsam that raise children. They can blame a faceless corporation for their own failings. “Oh, if only they didn’t lure my child Mary Snowflake, she wouldn’t be 200 pounds at age 10” they wail.

But now, certain adults’ obsession with absolving their faults has gone so far as to blame their own children for their own faults. Now they can say “It is not my fault, Mary Snowflake is mentally ill.” And that makes me quite literally sick to my stomach.

What the hell is wrong with people? Some parents essentially drug their kids to sleep. Some parents are constantly telling their kids what not to do but with no consequence at all for their failure to listen. These kids will grow up with big problems. You cannot help but feel sorry for them. They have simply struck out in the Parental Lottery. They are saddled with terrible parents who simply cannot bring themselves to stand up to manipulation and conflict. They are saddled with parents that give in because it is easier, and because they can bullshit themselves that they are building their children’s self esteem. Or they have parents who are emotional bullies that use their kids as the receptacle for their own failures in life.

What can be more American than taking advantage of these parents? That is exactly what psychiatrists, psychologists and drug companies are doing.  90% of detecting bullshit is following the money. And where there is bullshit there is always someone there to make money from it. To think that psychologists and psychiatrists are immune from bullshit is ridiculous. That is how most make their money.

As Mel Brooks could have stated in History of the World, Part I, and might well have if this movie came out today, in a scene where someone is trying to get unemployment benefits by showing that he tried to do his job but could not gain employment:

Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
Comicus: Psychologist.
Dole Office Clerk: What?
Comicus: Psychologist. I coalesce the vapors of human experience into a viable and meaningful comprehension.
Dole Office Clerk: Oh, a *bullshit* artist!
Comicus: *Grumble*…
Dole Office Clerk: Did you bullshit last week?
Comicus: No.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you *try* to bullshit last week?
Comicus: Yes!

But what it is really all about is the parent being a bad parent. We have a generation of self-absorbed people who have no interest in doing what is tough and what is needed. We have people who are not self-sufficient and reinforce this behavior in their kids.  They are more concerned with self-esteem than truth and consequence. And the sane among us know where that is going to lead.

6 Responses to “Bad parenting causes kids to be diagnosed with disorders?”

  1. You have it totally wrong! ODD is not being a “brat”, its much,much worse. The outbursts usually result in violence and/or destruction. I was actually naieve enough to believe the same way you did…..til this disorder manifested in my 5 year old DAUGHTER. Thats right, I said daughter. I dont medicate her, I dont excuse her behavior, and have always been a consistent and responsible parent! In addition, I have NEVER paid for psychotherapy. So where does that leave our family in your little spiel?
    I agree that too many children are misdiagnosed and medicated these days, but there are some who truly need more assistance than what you like to deem “good parenting”. Or maybe you would like to blame my dead husband. How about her 7 year old sister? Hell, go ahead and put me down as a parental “lottery loser” because I work, coach BOTH childrens sports, own my own house and have never taken a govenment handout. I have always stood up for my girls when it was warranted. Oh wait, that just shot holes into every one of your uneducated theories didn’t it…….oh, by the way, I am not the only parent living in my community dealing with this and not a single one of us has subscribed to abdicating our responsibilities in any sense. Can you say the same? Or do you even have children?
    It is due to judgemental jerks like yourself that the families who truly are dealing with mental disorders have such a tough time. Your ignorance exacerbates an already difficult situation. ODD left untreated usually results in substance abuse, criminal activity(as in murder and assult,not swiping a piece of gum), and suicide. So hell yeah, lets push this under the banner of made up “diseases” and let YOUR family suffer the consequences of ignorance.

  2. i cant believe you think this is the result of bad parenting. i live with this day in day out my other children are treated the same and they dont have this condition. my son feels utterly powerly and full of self disgust after he has had an episode and been told that he has threathen to harm someone as he cant remember what he has done.
    most of it stems for his school pressure and he displays behaviours at home and he can be himself at home because as parents we care. he feels he can be himself however bad that maybe because we dont put pressure on him to conform to the norm, we dont scream and shout, we are not overbaring as you suggests. his situation is opposite to what you believe this imaginary condition manifest these bad hildren!!!!!! its not made up and manufactored but real and my son suffers everyday more so because of bigot people like you

  3. OMG!!! This is the most true thing I have ever read! I tire of the endless excuses of lazy parents. My neighbor even tried to tell me that her kid hates to run because his ADHD makes him feel discomfort more than regular people. Luckily she told me via text so that I didn’t have to hide my disdain!

  4. I wouldn’t say it’s the sane who can see through the fog. And, all humans “bullshit”, me and you alike. You can’t put all the blame on another for a fault that you share. I personally thank the world for all the “bullshit” because without it I wouldn’t have any food on my plate.
    Whether it is from bad parenting or from a mental disorder, what the hell does it matter when you still are what you came out to be. You can’t take revenge on something that doesn’t breathe. It sure as hell isn’t easy fixing what can’t be fixed. Maybe we ought to let all the little children run free, parent-less. A Hitler will always arise among desperate masses; there will still be obesity and sadism. Yes, I feel the bitterness as you do, but blaming is a petty act; more yet, blaming humans.

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