Waging War Against Life’s Daily Battles

Some times you just get the shit beaten out of you.

Every day, every hour, no matter what you do, no matter your outlook, no matter whether you believe in God. No matter how hard you fight, claw or pray. None of it matters. No one is immune from the vagaries of this cesspool of corruption, pain and misery in which we live.

I see misery and unhappiness everywhere; train stations, work, people walking down the street. All struggling, clawing for whatever little scraps this world is willing to bestow on them, as if it is imparting a gift of a few moments of relief from the world. You see it too, but perhaps you choose not to recognize it; to give it the full faith and recognition it warrants.

Home life? Work? Travelling or commuting? Dealing with the constant battles of life? They beat us up. Everyday. No matter who you deal with, life is a constant battle for scraps: money, time, happiness, relief, the upper hand, the moral high ground, the passive aggression that many are so fond of. We fight over little green pieces of paper, crush our fellow man in favor of a dollar, or a promotion.

Every day the same thing. Every day the same problems. The same beatings. And every day you get older, more decrepit, more jaded and more hardened.

And next thing you know you are beaten, depressed and broken.

Just walk around for one hour and watch how selfish, loutish, uncaring and unaware of anything other than their own wants and needs the public is. As I am sitting on a train right now one guy has his foot on a seat and another is jabbering on a phone as if they are in their living room.

Sympathy? No one cares. The great Skip James once sang I’ve crossed the ocean and I’ve crossed the sea, and ain’t no one yet to sympathize with me.” That is it; no one cares; about you or me or anyone other than themselves. “Tragedy is when I stub my toe, comedy is when you fall in an open manhole cover and die,” said Mel Brooks and that pretty much sums up how people view themselves and live their lives.

All we do is fight constant little battles. Every day, every moment is a fight against something. A person. A diet. Depression. Crowds. Evil. Bills. Lack of direction. Dissatisfaction. Unhappiness. Our lives are a constant battle against these. And I do not mean in the grand scheme of things, as movies, literature or popular culture will have us believe. There is no Harry Potter to take on Voldemort. There are only millions of tiny ants, biting and clawing at us  on a constant, death–by-a-thousand-cuts basis until we are worn down to the nub without ever realizing it.

We read, we watch TV, we drink, we go to amusement parks, we have “fun.” But it only lasts so long. The book finishes, the show ends, the bottle is empty and the ride is over. And the world is right there, lying in wait like a tiger pouncing from the weeds.

There are brief respites. And sometimes life is great. Sometimes we are happy. Who doesn’t love squeezing their children, reveling in their beauty and innocence? But the world gets to them too. They grow up and start fighting us for their scraps, for what they believe is important. They are perverted by a world that recruits them to fight for whatever cause they are sucked into. We pervert children to our own uses, we instill racism in to them, hatred for others and yet we are oh so shocked when people end up as outright evil lunatics. We made the Frankenstein’s Monster and now we cannot run from it.

Overall the crushing weight of defending against the constant siege of misery gets us all. We are a nation of people the majority of whom drink, take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills. It ain’t because we are all gleeful.

Or worse yet, we are a people that believe in an afterlife, where it will all be redeemed. The good will be rewarded, and the bad punished we tell ourselves. Hey, if it gets us to sleep we will believe anything.

The problem is that the alternative is too horrible. And though that alternative stares us in the face, no, slaps us in the face every single moment of every single day, we do not give it the recognition it craves.

Even here we fight a constant battle against our lack of courage. To think that the evil in this world has the right idea, that it is right to grasp for whatever it can in whatever piddling time of existence and for whatever misguided reason it sees fit is simply a terrifying thought to most of us. We have to believe in an afterlife simply because we do not have the balls to act otherwise, or because we need it in order to not stab ourselves in the neck.

If you think there is a higher power in whose image we are made and who looks after us you are a fool. Is this so-called higher power looking after women and children who are raped and killed in genocide, or who starve to death, or fetuses that are aborted by having their brains sucked out in the disgusting so-called Partial Birth abortion? Is he looking after those with sever mental illness, or three-year-old children with cancer with no hope of recovery? Is this his will for those beings that are made in his own image?

You are fooling yourself if you believe this and you are doing it for the same reason the rest of us drink, take drugs, watch TV etc. It is because the alternative is too terrible to grasp. And even here we lie, cheat and generally willfully disobey the supposed edicts of “religion.” Even here we are cesspools of corruption. We cheat God because it is easier. Orthodox Jews, Catholics, Muslims you all do it.

But some of us grasp the true nature of this vile, decrepit rock that we are placed upon by random fate. We see the cesspool of pain, corruption and misery that the world is. And there is no succor for this.

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